


A Gift

by monopoisoner



Category: ONEUS (Band)
Genre: Angst, Fluff, M/M, Past Relationship(s)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-25
Updated: 2019-12-25
Packaged: 2021-02-26 04:08:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,838
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21957166
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/monopoisoner/pseuds/monopoisoner
Summary: Hwanwoong simply squeezed him tighter in response, too embarrassed to say the words aloud. One day, he’d be able to say it with ease. For now, he knew Youngjo understood him.More than that, he loved him.
Relationships: Kim Youngjo | Ravn/Yeo Hwanwoong
Comments: 6
Kudos: 58





	A Gift

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Solrey](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Solrey/gifts).



Hwanwoong sat in the small cafe, letting time pass without care. Outside the window, snow fell in a soft downpour, blanketing the city in its icy presence. He wished he could muffle his own beating heart the same way the snow did with the urban noise. The speakers were turned down low, but if he took the time to listen, he could make out notes of famous carols he once listened to this time of the year.

The bell chimed, signaling the arrival of another soul. He looked up, ignored the way his heart seized at the sight of the black-haired man making his way to him. He tried to pretend he didn’t feel that much lighter at the sight of his smile, or feel his anxieties ease when he heard his voice.

“Sorry, did I make you wait long?” Youngjo took the seat across him. A yellow beanie sat on his head while he wore 3 different jackets to keep the chill away. The older man got cold easily; he always wore more layers than Hwanwoong thought was necessary.

“No, I came early because I wanted to get a drink first.” He wondered if he’d like the small gift in his bag, wrapped in simple brown paper and held together with Keonhee’s Olaf washi tape. He hadn’t bought Christmas gifts for anyone who wasn’t family in... Hwanwoong stopped the thought. He’d promised Youngjo he’d stay in the moment during today’s outing. Despite his doubts, he wanted to at least try. He mattered enough.

“Since you’re done, let’s go?”

Hwanwoong nodded, leaving the used mug at the clean-up counter as he followed Youngjo outside. There was no wind, but the chilly air was enough to nip at his exposed cheeks and force him to burrow his hands into his pockets for warmth. The taller man stayed close, tugging him along by his arm.

“Where are we going?”

“I don’t know.”

Hwanwoong dug in his heels, protesting at the lack of a plan. He almost slipped on the icy sidewalk. Thankfully, Youngjo caught him before his head met the concrete. With a fresh flush on his face and an indignant pout on his lips, he looked up to face the taller man.

“What do you mean ‘I don’t know?’”

“I was just planning on starting at the lights display and then winging it.”

“Wouldn’t it be better to have a plan first?”

“If we enjoy it, is it really that bad even if we’re wasting time?”

Hwanwoong couldn’t find a good answer, so he let himself get dragged along. It didn’t take long for them to arrive at their destination, with Youngjo expertly weaving through the crowds with practiced ease. Reluctance soon gave way to excitement as they walked down the street. The normally drab gray office zone was illuminated with the warm light of Christmas lights. Strips dangled between the trees that lined the road, while hollow figures of reindeer sat on display in front of buildings, illuminated from within. Cheery Christmas carols blasted from whiny Bluetooth speakers, Youngjo singing along as he held his hand in his. He laughed at his antics, finding himself humming along when their conversation hit a lull.

The heaviness of his heart eased with each minute he spent with him, but he instinctively held part of himself back. Pinpricks of guilt made its way to him. How could he so easily forget? How could he just move on? The weight of the questions threatened to suffocate him — and a part of him believed he deserved it.

As if knowing what was going through his head, Youngjo pulled him close. Almost instantly the cold was vanquished, replaced by his warmth. Before Hwanwoong could question the embrace, he let go. The younger was dragged along his pace, turning at a corner and moving into a busy street almost overflowing people. The ends were barricaded so only foot traffic was allowed to pass through.

“A street market?”

“The sign said ‘Christmas Market’; I’m not sure how it’s any different.”

“Too many people.” Reluctance dripped from every word. Blonde hair bounced as he shook his head in protest. The crowd wasn’t terrible, but he still didn’t want to do it. Youngjo simply took it in stride, ruffling his hair as he laughed. The sound soothed him.

“Ten minutes? If you’re still uncomfortable after that, we’ll leave.”

He caved because it was a reasonable compromise. They shared a cup of thick hot chocolate from a lady who was literally melting bars into a pot. They grabbed a few churros from a neighboring stall, dipping it into the cup. Youngjo paused at a small handmade trinket shop, picking out a few things for his family. His own eyes wandered over to a small display of a moon, but he left it alone. Knowing his company, the older man would insist on buying it for him.

Ten minutes turned into twenty, then into thirty. Before he knew it, a whole hour had passed since their agreement. Time went by quickly when you enjoyed it; the blonde had forgotten what that was like. Ever since his loss, time seemed to have to almost crawled to a halt. It was Youngjo who pulled him out of that standstill. Sometimes he didn’t know if he should thank or resent him for that.

They moved away from the noise. The temperature had dropped and now the snow fell in a steady stream. Not much longer until it became unbearable. The riverside park was empty, most finding the wind blowing off the icy water too cold. Hwanwoong was one of the few who found it refreshing.

He probably knew, Hwanwoong surmised. Youngjo knew he liked the cold, liked the solitude of the park at night. Meanwhile, Youngjo liked warmth, liked the energy of people around him. He believed in the good inside everyone and actively strove to find it. In so many ways, he was the opposite of the person he once held most dear. It had been peaceful, almost predictable — Woong had felt safe with him. Even after he was gone, the pattern he’d fallen into was familiar. With Youngjo, he never knew what he was going to get.

“Did you enjoy today?”

They’d stopped walking, staying beneath the illumination of a street light. Even in its harsh glare, Youngjo’s attractiveness didn’t falter. Hwanwoong looked up to meet his gaze, but for once, the older man wasn’t looking at him. His brown-black eyes were on the dark river, searching for something. Hwanwoong didn’t know what. Something about the question was off. It felt heavy when it should’ve been a casual query.

“Woong?”

“Sorry.” Hwanwoong tried not to think too much of it. “I did, a lot more than I expected.”

“That’s great.” The taller man moved a few steps ahead, leaning against the railing. He remained silent, letting the quiet take over. Hwanwoong followed after, a feeling of dread settling in his gut.

He gathered his courage; it wasn’t like Youngjo to stop speaking without reason.

“Youngjo, is there something wrong?”

The silence was stretched to the point of breaking before he answered.

“I’m saying good-bye.”

_No._

The words felt like a knife through his chest. His heart seized. He couldn’t say anything as Youngjo continued to speak, his gaze somewhere far away.

“It hurts too much now.” He said it so quietly, Hwanwoong might have missed it had the air not been dead silent. “I thought I could settle, and for a while, I could.”

Youngjo didn’t deserve to settle. He deserved to have whatever he wanted. Hwanwoong was sure of that. But no words of protest made their way to his lips. He only watched him, waiting to see what would happen next.

“Hwanwoong, when I first asked you out you were honest with me.” For the first time since coming to the park, Youngjo looked at him. And it was then he saw it: pain, undulled yet by time. It was so raw that Hwanwoong was left wondering how he’d managed to hide it so well. It troubled him. How blinded was he by his own troubles that he’d completely missed his?

“You were honest; I was the idiot who was in over his head.” Dark brown eyes didn’t waver now that he’d started it. “You couldn’t promise to give me everything, because you already gave it to someone else before. But I realized that I do want it all and that wouldn’t be fair to either of—”

“Stop.”

The strength in Hwanwoong’s voice surprised them both. Even the skies seemed to listen, as the snow paused moments after. The blonde searched his bag, letting out a triumphant cry as soon as he found what he was looking for. Hwanwoong held out the crumpled gift to him, his eyes urging him to take it.

“Open it.”

“This isn’t really the time for—”

“Just open it.”

Youngjo tore off the flimsy paper, easily getting to the present wrapped inside. It was obvious he didn’t have an inkling of what the gift meant when his eyes only looked at him in question.

“Earrings? Woong, thank you but I don’t understand what was so ur—” Hwanwoong watched as confusion turned to understanding. There were two sets in the box, but only half of each was inside. He shifted towards the light so Youngjo could see that _he_ was wearing the missing earrings.

“I’m not good at saying how I feel. Not like you.” It was now or never. He thought he’d be more nervous. Instead, he felt calm, as if he wasn’t putting his heart out there a second time. Youngjo made him want to take risks again. “But believe me when I say that whatever’s here is yours now, Youngjo. _I’m_ yours.”

He stepped closer, his chin tilting up so he could meet Youngjo’s gaze. Still, the elder said nothing. It was a repeat of earlier, only in reverse. He took it as his cue to continue.

“I might push you away in the future. Sometimes I’ll even revert back to when we first met. But Youngjo, I’m trying.” It was only now his voice cracked, the thought of Youngjo leaving terrifying him. “I don’t know how else to tell you that I l—”

His words were cut off by the warmth of Youngjo’s lips. At first, he was shocked but then he melted into the kiss. It was easier to tell him like this than with words he could just as easily misunderstand. He could feel the elder’s lips curve upward; his first smile since arriving at this park. When they finally parted, Youngjo held him close, pressing his cold cheek against his hair.

“I love you.”

Hwanwoong simply squeezed him tighter in response, too embarrassed to say the words aloud. One day, he’d be able to say it with ease. For now, he knew Youngjo understood him.

More than that, he loved him.

“Merry Christmas, Woong. Thank you.”

“Merry Christmas. Thank you for giving me the best gift of all.”

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote half of this with a fever and edited a quarter in the ER don't judge it too harshly. LMAO.


End file.
